The three little words you do NOT want to hear from your doctor while he is staring at an image of your breast tissue and giving you the results of your mammogram are, and I quote, “Don’t freak out…”

That’s pretty much like yelling, “Fire!” and expecting a person to not head for the nearest exit!

I learned a lesson this morning, and that is these radiologists are responsible for performing the near-impossible task of eyeballing any errant white speck in a what looks like, on film, a boob cloud. A really rough job obviously. So, while I’m not really freaking out, I do have to go back for a “better-safe-than-sorry” second look. And the best part is, the other test I have to endure is (1) far less painful (in fact, it’s painLESS), and (b) far better at early breast cancer detection. Great.

But this news got me thinking. Hey Doc, if there exists a test that doesn’t hurt a bit, and more easily detects early stage breast cancer, ummmmmm, why don’t we START WITH THAT ONE?????

Reading between the lines of what the good doctor was trying to tell me without telling me, is that some INSURANCE CARRIERS WILL NOT ALWAYS PAY for the far better, painless breast cancer detection test. Ironically, the test is not something we have borrow from NASA, or fly in in a special hermetically sealed rocket ship. It’s a simple SONOGRAM!

Now me and my breasts are just mad.

Think about it. Mammograms are given away like candy – insurance doesn’t mind paying for THEM (and that’s not a bad thing) – yet, as of four hours ago, I now know they are not 100 percent effective in early detection. But, DOWN THE FREAKIN’ HALL (at least in most medical facilities), there IS a test that works BETTER, can SAVE MORE LIVES, causes NO DISCOMFORT and the insurance companies actually BUCK AGAINST paying for it??? Hellllllooooo, is it just me, or is this insane???

I’m not going on a full-fledged rant against the health insurance industry – YET – only because I need to do my homework first. Clearly, I don’t have all the facts and I don’t want to talk out of school. Just seems to me it would be more cost effective for the insurance providers (and for the rest of us) to do whatever it takes to detect breast cancer early, than to cover the costs associated with “curing” it after it’s consumed us. And this, folks, is a real good reason to “freak out”.